Stone Cold (1991)

flyingsheepcannon · Thu Dec 23, 2010 2:37 am

Stone Cold (1991)

IMDb Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102984/
Director: Craig R. Baxley
Release Date: 17 May 1991 (USA)
Genre: Action | Crime | Drama
Country: USA

Cast: Brian Bosworth | Lance Henriksen | William Forsythe

Tagline(s):
A cop who enforces his own brand of justice. | He'll burn you cold.

Plot Summary:
Joe Huff is a tough, go-it-alone cop with a flair for infiltrating dangerous biker gangs. The FBI blackmail Joe into an undercover operation to convict some extremely violent bikers, who are angry at the capture of their leader.

Stone Cold

Unless you were an avid football fan and grew up in the late 80s, you probably won't know who the star of the movie is.
I didn't know who Brian Bosworth was myself, so I did some reading.

Apparently he played football for a bit, got into trouble with the law, then got injured, and finished his career with a string of really shitty movies.

But after watching Stone Cold, I'm pretty sure they saw how badass this guy was on TV, and decided to make a movie around him.

I'm sure the interaction between the movie producers and Brian went something like this:
*Knocking on the door*
Brian: "What the hell do you want"
Producer: "We think you'd be great in this movie of ours, here's a sack full of money"
Brian: "What do I have to do?"
Producer: "You'll have to walk around in your underwear, bang hot chicks, and beat random strangers up. Can do that for us?"
Brian: "I am now, I just did, and I'm about to"

And Stone Cold was born

Every movie has to introduce the main character in some shape or form.

This one doesn't waste any time with John Stone.

It starts off in a shopping mall where these overthetop cracked out thugs are robbing a GROCERY STORE (Desperate and hungry).
Where our man John Stone, in an equally overthetop outfit shopping for crackers and bananas, proceeds to beat the shit out of the machine gun wielding robbers with brooms, spinach, and punches.

All John Stone wanted was some crackers and bananas.

Shoulderpads AND a mullet (my mind was blown)

This man doesn't take crap from no one, especially the food pyramid.

You then learn he was a cop that got thrown out of the force for NOT PLAYING BY THE RULES!
He gets recruited by the FBI to infiltrate and take down a biker gang because apparently that's what John Stone specializes in.

This movie is hilariously over the top and should be enjoyed by every bad-movie lover.
Brian Bosworth plays John Stone so well you just assume the movie wrote itself around him. He rides motorcycles, bangs bitches, and gets into trouble pretty much on a daily basis.

The man has a pet komodo dragon....
A Komodo Dragon
KOMODO DRAGON!!!!

Quote:

John Stone: Imagine the future, Chains, 'cause you're not in it.

Quote:

Ice: You look like a grown-up version of Bam-Bam.

Quote:

Chains: [It's better to be first in Hell than last in Heaven!

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Stone Cold (1991)

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