Needle Anus is the masterpiece of our times. It is the film that will define our generation, something we can all look up to, something that will give us hope, something that will give us guidance. It leads us through the darkness and bathes us in the the warm light of its sublime beauty and spiritual harmony.

This movie, if I am humble enough to define it as such, could possibly be a gift from god himself, handed to us through a mortal messenger to spread the word of all that is good.

Sorry Spielberg, step aside Soderbergh, back to the drawing board Scorcese - there is a new talent in town. He has shown me the way, allow him to do the same for you.

My one little problem (and its very little) is that there are no monkeys in the film, there is always room for a chimp or at least a small gibbon but I understand the directors decision to keep all simian activity minimal. The purity of the story should not be tainted.