(reminds my of something a read last week...it seems that there is a bear that disguises himself as a SNOWBALL to catch his pray
forgot witch one , but nature sure has some freake animal behavior )

whatever that joked sucked if you speak fuckin english.


Whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?

one dead baby nailed to ten trees!

Why does Beyonce sings "to the left, to the left"?



























`Cause black people have no rights!

Whats worse than one dead baby nailed to ten trees?

one dead baby nailed by ten trees!

that reminds me srpski film

I just found these on the web but couldn't find the joke thread (if it exists at all )

An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.
?How many children?? asks the council worker.
?10? replies the Essex girl.
?10?? says the council worker. ?What are their names??
?Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne.?
?Doesn?t that get confusing??
?Naah?? says the Essex girl ?its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER?S READY, or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it??
?What if you want to speak to one individually?? says the perturbed council worker.
?That?s easy,? says the Essex girl? ?I just use their surnames.?

An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter.
?I?ll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress.? she says.
?Come again?? says the clerk, cupping his ear.
?No? she replies. ?This time it?s mayonnaise.?

Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says ?Choose from our range on the wall.?
She says ?I?ll take the red one.?
The man replies ?That?s a fire extinguisher.?

An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site.
Medic: ?It?s OK I?m a paramedic and I?m going to ask you some questions??
Girl: ?OK?
Medic: ?What?s your name??
Girl: ? Sharon .?
Medic: ?OK Sharon , is this your car??
Sharon : ?Yes.?
Medic: ?Where are you bleeding from??
Sharon : ?Romford, mate.?

An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, ?Treacle, I just heard on the news that there?s a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!?
?It?s not just one car!? said the Essex girl, ?There?s f*cking hundreds of them!?

Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there?s Blood everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she?s lying flat out on the ground.
Medic: ?OK, I?m going to check if you?re concussed.?
Sharon : ?Ok.?
Medic: ?How many fingers am I putting up??
Sharon : ?Oh my god, I?m paralysed from the waist down!?

An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex Girl notices something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing. She says, ?Scuse me mate, I ain?t being funny or nuffink, but why doz one of your wellies ?ave an L on it and the uva one?s got an R on it??
The Irish guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies, ?Well, I?m a little bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is for me right foot and the one wit the L is for me Left foot?
?Cor blimey?, exclaims the Essex girl, ?So THATS why me knickers ?ave got C&A on them!?

I think there was a joke thread somewhere, too lazy to search atm

heres a don jokes....

Don walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar.

FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS OUR TEST!

So Don asks the bartender what the test is. The Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that bobbley gay wine, the whole thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a gay out back with a soar ass. You have to comfort him". Third, there's a virgin woman who's never had sex up-stairs, you gotta make things right for her.

Don says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink bobbley gay wine. Well, as time goes on and Don drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat bobbleeyz gaay wiiiine"

He grabs the bobbley gay wine with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence.

Don staggers into the bar, his shirt ripped and the pants down to his knees. "Now" he says "Where's that virgin with the sore ass?"

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=13679

That's a lot of jokes, though.

/me starting to read

*merged* thanks `max

Rabbit: Pooh, why Piglet's mouth is covered with shit and blood?
Pooh: Because he ate shit!
Rabbit: But where the blood came from?
Pooh: He was refusing to eat the shit at first.

i hope that's taken word for word from the new movie

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"



Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, and after finishing their dinner they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" "Watson, you idiot!" He exclaims, "Somebody's stolen our tent." ?