Post your sorry-ass stories here! Please only true ones!


One night, walking back from the bar with a pal, I started slashing bike tires with my boxcutter. Then I climbed up some scaffolding and threw shit off of peoples porches including various furniture, crowning achievement being a couch from 4 stories up. Then I ripped a hood deflecter off of a Mack truck.

another time I smashed a few random windows with various lawn ornaments, and then pissed into one of them.

this other time I woke up in the middle of the night and instead of going to the bathroom 5 feet from my bed, i walked all the out to the kithcen and pissed in the trashcan, even closing the lid. Though I didn't know about that till the next morning.

oh man so many more... Thanks Jack Daniels

Me and some mates had too much vodka and decided to visit abandoned cemetery It was 2am and raining realy hard. On teh way there was a canal half full of water and i somewhat didn't see it and took a great shower. There is more to it! I was so drunk i could barely crawl out of it. Ok all wet but still we went to that cemetery. There was a construction site nearby! I took a rock and knocked out windows of all vehicles i could find. We had a few bottle of champaign to finish ourselfes off and this is pretty much all i can remember. I woke up next day all hangover at my friend's place

I myself never did anything crazy except crawl to my bed when I was plastered. But one instance my friend insisted on drinking an entire dixie cup full of vodka in about 5 seconds. Shortly after he was pretty much a pinball bouncing around my pourch. After a couple minutes of him bouncing around and mummbling about how drunk he was... he started powering up (like in dragonball Z). Then i started powering up with him, and it turned into an epic powering up battle. Well, he won.... he powered up threw my pourch railing onto the ground. Poor guy broke his arm, but he didn't know it until he started sobering up.

very metal
with me it usually has something to do with me & the missus having sex in public

So the other night, I went out to this local bar/club, and was talkin to this old guy about musi, local and metal and shit. we are having a good convo, then he suddenly blurts out "I just took a bunch of viagra"... not sure what to do I knocked over my beer and left.

Tonite i went out with my band to a bar called Our House, and met this girl who was a total cunt, she asked our names, we told her we were Rachel, Heather and Desiree, she said we were all fags. then she came back alter and my buddy grilled her about her life, and she admited that her current boyfriend was a mortician, and I asked if he preferred if she 'just lay there' she smiled and and said some harsh shit and we called her a cunt to her face, she pulled down her bottom lip and had CUNT tattooed upside-down on it. so we bought her a drink. man she was hot and a 19 yr old in 21+ country...

Ahh being in a band gets you laid

The worst one is it when I was so drunk that I have forgot my fukin name

Ok heres a brand new one. After a night of drinking till 2:30, my friend said he was gonna crash at my place, so once we got into the lobby he suddenly turned around and started pushing me, so we got into a little wrestling match, and when I said ok stop and let him go, he pulled a push/trip move and my head when SLAM against against the marble floor (i'm 6 foot 6, so its a long way down), then the next thing I know i'm in my bathroom with bloody knuckles, an aching head and what feels like a broken hand. I went to retrace my steps, and it turns out I must of punched out a window in the hallway. Since the blow to my head, and all the pitchers of beer, I musta blacked out and mixed with adrenoline hit the window instead of my friends face (probly wise, since he didn't mean to hurt me). So now I may have a mild concussion, my hurts and is cut up (not broken thankfully) and I gotta avoid having to pay for the window (if it weren't so expensive, i'd fess up).

Probly should stop drinking every day huh?

Don't stop, just start drinking white wine

not much here

i just lied (layed ? ) on an intersection one time for a few minutes

also on one ocassion i threw dogturds at everybody

also when still very young i kissed 2 girls on one night, when before that i never even had kissed one ...the magic of alcohol sure makes you more convident

Darn Grind you're one hardcore fella I had some strange drunk accident just the other day. I got drunk with my friend and invited a girl i barely know to come over and ended up sleeping with her and i must say without sex as i was TOO DRUNK TO FUCK. Did i say fuck? Too drunk to fuck,stand,see,think or do any action that resembles mammal (i'm not even saying human) Still i'm going to hit tht ass later

Reminds me of Dead Kennedys and:

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Embedding has been disabled, cause of security issues. Good luck with clicking on me!

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And yes I had that aswell

Yup i meant this song in a reference

ok so one night we were tryin to sneak beer into the dorms, and we came up with a great scheme to get the 30 rack up to the 3rd floor by tying a bookbag to a couple of bedsheets and hoisting into the window in the back of the building. It made it to the 3rd floor window but ripped open and a few beer cans came down hitting some idiot in the face, broke a tooth. He was a dumbass for standing there and served him right.

when i was 14 I got really drunk with a buddy and my girlfriend on gin we stole from his house. This was about 3PM in the afternoon, so we walked back into town and sat in the park on the main street. This older guy pulled up in his van and my girl went to get in saying she was just gonna go have him buy us cigs. This made me real fuckin mad, so I preceded to kick out all the wooden railings on the gazebo, took about 5 mins, then I turn around to see a cop standing there shaking his head. So he put in the back of the cruiser, and I see my girl pull up with cigs in her hand, now also shaking her head at me. I had to pay for that gazebo but since I never admited to being drunk and the dumb cop never took a breathalyer, I got off without probation. I was REAL drunk too, musta reeked and couldnt even see straight.

Another time I was standing outside of a bar, barely able to stand, and started making fun of this scenester kid across the street, I have a loud boomy voice and he heard and we had some words, and he started to cross the street and WHAM! taken out by some chick on her bicycle! We all laughed and he got up and walked away.

I hope you repeated the procedure until you knocked all of his teeth out, thus making him more... convenient?



Morale of the story is: Don't mess with GRiND and his army of cycle chicks

Just got into a fight , my nose is bleeding , i'm too drunk to care, puked all over my bathroom, darn what a great evening

I hope you enjoy it just as much tomorrow

me and you really gotta go raise hell some day

Well, nothings seems to hurt so far, got hardcore diarrhea and mild hangover
And partying with Grind, GOD knows if i would survive that, yet mate i'd love to do that one day

that morning would hurt for sure

ok...

so last year (actually 2008), my ex-girl (of way too long) came home drunk. bear with this...

my buddy (drummer, the one in previous story) and I were hanging, drinkin, in front of my computer, after i got outta work at midnite. she comes in all fuckin fucked up, stumbles to the bed, passes out for almost a hour. At 3AM she wakes up goes to the bathroom, which was next to my comp in my old small shit apartment. shes in there for a long time, we hear her puke and leave the water running. after a while my buddy, Chris, suggests i check on her, so i do, knocking. she won't open up. I figure she collapsed on the floor, probly dead. A few minutes later, she swings the door open. "who the fuck did you have over here" she yells, "you been fuckin some girl" we groan, oh god here she goes. I ask what the fuck shes talkin bout. she goes on a intelligible rant, so i back her into the bathroom, close the door, and ask her sternly whats up. She says that she knows some girl has been here because there is a tampon on the floor. I say what?, and she shows me a dried out old tampon, obviously hers from days before that somehow fell out of the trash she managed to tip over. I ask why I would fuck a girl on her period, she then says "thats not all" and points to the semi-dried puke on the outside of the toilet-bowl. I say that was her, we heard her puke. she shoves me from the bathroom screaming about how much of a bastard i am. slams the door. I look at chris and he asks should he go. I say yeah but we go smoke a cig outside. he wishes me luck. I go back in and hear her crying in the bathroom. I start drinkin the rest of my beers really fast and chain-smoking in the dark. maybe 30 minutes or 45 minutes later, she comes out and stumbles at me. I say this is over im gonna pass out, just fuck off to bed. I lay in the bed, she keeps up about how much of a cheating worthless loser I am. I finally jump up and tell her its over, we are done, breakin up fucking shit. I come at her pretty hard, she cowls like a wounded faggot and starts saying I am abusing her by being so angry. I then put my hands around her neck and mock-strangle her (really, no pressure, just the gesture) and say "is this what you want? you want me to strangle and fuck you?" I force her onto the bed and she kinda starts crying though shes reaching for my dick. I push off of her, and say "see you are fucked, we are done, breaking up now" then i lay on the bed and pull a pillow over my head. Its all quiet for a minute that seemed like forever. Then I hear rattling of metal in the kitchen. She comes back saying, "well you never loved me, I can't live without you, I am finishing it now" not sure what that meant i look up and shes holding one mof my good steak knives to her wrists. I spring up, tell her to put it down. shes then points it at me, saying terrible shit, then puts it to her wrist. I say stop, thats not funny, dont make empty threats. she starts slicing. So I grab her wrists, the knife in her right hand. Shes saying awful stuff, I am trying to defuse. Then I think, hey i can slap that outta her hand. so I slap at her hand, but she pulls the knife through my grasp, and slices my left hand at the thumb, from the third knuckle to the fingernail. blood starts flowing and then I slap her and push her to the ground (mind you she is fat and weighs at least 230, some of it muscle). I yell for her to leave and basically kick at her, no contact, to get the fuck out, i hope she sleeps on the street and dies. shes crawls away, literally out the door, i lock that shit. I am bleeding with a cut that went straight to the bone, can see my cartilage, and am waaaayyy too drunk to deal. after a few mins, i go out, shes gone, so i call Chris. He lived in the building next to me, which is a dorm, where he is RD, he says i cant come in with blood on me, the security guard will have to call the cops, so he says wrap my tshrt around my hand. I do, and he comes down and lets me in. we smoke cigs and i tell him what happened. after I cool down, and since the bleeding didnt stop yet, i leave and go across the street to the 24 hour supermarket to get gauze and cigarettes. Its 5:30AM by now, the suns coming up. The fucking kid working register who i see all time fucking cards me for smokes. I flip out flinging blood on his face and the register, telling him to die of fucking aids that i will wait for him to get off work and slit his throat (meant every word) if i dont get those goddamn marb reds NOW. he obliges. I smoke a bunch and bandage myself, and pass out for a few hours. then I woke up and my other friend called me cuz we were going to a show that night, so i went and drank a lot and bled all over the bar. Man now that was a good night!

I see an opportunity missed!

The rest sounds really awesome, especially the part after you got rid of the bitch

Another hardcore story from Grind. Dude your life is awesome I wish i'd have at least half as big balls as yours I would get all whiny about that cut and you just kept on going,that's realy something

yeah after that I sat home and made CCV1. You can see underlying hatred towards woman if you look not-that-hard


@manwhofuckedagoat: not sure if its awesome or tragic. I bet someday the best story I won't be able to tell.

I got more fucked ones, most arent on alcohol though (stupid lsd).

As long as you wont end up like OnlinePredator ( we all know how the story goes), you're legend! I have yet another fine day comming up as i got two bottles of whiskey

alright another one for ya'll...

happened tonite 03232010

so im at the watering hole after band practice with the drummer. the whole staff knows me, whatever. I walk along the booths and as i get to the final one, this faggot (hair is gay, shirt is gay, etc) sticks his foot out. I think haha, and say to him "youtryin to trip me buddy?" he says "yeah i was" and laughs at his table of fat girls. I go "ok, haha, nice try and 'pal him up' (meaning grab his hand man style and squeeze) and then slap the back of his, admittedly kinda hard. then i go piss like i set off to do. about 20 mins later, he stands at his table of fat sluts and eyes me hard. my buddy was takin a piss then, so i stand and stare him down. the bitches obviously were sayin to him how i was lookin at his faggot-ness. He walks up to me, as i am blockin his way. He then swings and hits me in the throat, which hurts, and tries to grapple me, i then hit him several times in the face and neck as he grabs me and brings us down to the ground. i cant see shot and the doorman i guess grabs him by the throat and is tryin to bring him offa me, so i put my hands up since he aint swinging (the bitch fag he is), and the guy pulls him up after some confusion. kicks him and his table out, banning them from the bar. I go to leave thinking im in trouble, but instead they buy us a pitcher (four 16oz beers) and we laugh about it. My adam's apple hurts like a mother, but i bet his pretty faggot face hurts more, i landed many on it, knuckles and all. my hand hurts too, i think i split open the wounds from the window incident. so we drank and shit and life moved foward, i will kill that fag, hes lucky i didnt pull out my 3 inch blade i carry cuz i like that bar. The Silhouette in Allston, MA is the shit!

Hitting fags face is always painfull,but that sure served him him right.

GRiND and ManWhoFuckedaGoat should start up a Tagteam