Chopping Mall (1986)

Pure · Tue Jun 15, 2010 3:34 pm

IMDb Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090837/
Director: Jim Wynorski
Release Date: 21 March 1986 (USA)
Genre: Action | Horror | Sci-Fi
Country: USA

Cast: Kelli Maroney | Barbara Crampton | Suzee Slater

Tagline(s):
Where shopping can cost you an arm and a leg. | Buy or Die | Shop til you drop, dead!

Plot Summary:
Eight teenagers are trapped after hours in a high tech shopping mall and pursued by three murderous security robots out of control.

Chopping Mall is a movie about a bunch of sexed up teenagers that are trying to spend the night at the mall where they work and eventuall all get chased through out the mall by bad tempered robots.

"Thank you... have a nice day."

As soon as this movie starts you get to know the 'bad guys'. A nice introduction is made by showing a burglar thats after some jewelry and eventually gets his ass electrocuted by the security robot. The first lesson of the movie is already learned here while seeing bullets doesn't harm 'em.

"The End."
What the Fuck?! Oh wait, that wasn't an introduction is was an commercial.

For all of those that we're in doubt by seeing the commercial , they now get to see a meeting where people like them that still don't get it, get a nice demonstration of why they should change our mind. All in all that mister sure does have some good points!
So the management desides to give it a go and installs the new security system. Not only do they get their robots but they also get some big ass doors that automaticly shut and open and a bitchin' computerroom where everything gets controlled.

During the opening scene of the movie we get to see that its usual for American Malls to have horny youngsters and olderly people that like to imitate them, it's common to steal record albums and there are women walking around in bikinis.

After this follows a quick introduction of the main characters who all seem to work at the mall. Jim likes to keep the pace up in his movies so in between the introduction of the characters we get to see the lightning strike that causes the robots to go berserk!

Shortly after that we get to see the robots doing their first kill. The unknowing victim enjoys his last moments by looking at some jugs when soon he gets his throat chopped by the robots.

Back to the main characters, the Party is already at full speed but there are two people alone that soon will get together (you've guessed it, the main characters). It all seems to click, they all formed couples and their hormones start kicking in. During all the getting to know each other they off course are very busy and so they miss the robot thats peeking inside.

Another kill coming up. A cleaner gets burned by his annoying co-workers about him already getting stuck once, now he's cleaning up some shit on the floor while they are drinking and making fun of him. If thats not enough he's even gonna get burned by one of the robots. His co-workers leave, he's still busy cleaning, when all of a sudden a robot appears from behind and bumps against a bucket full of shit. Damnit over the floor and his shoes! Naturally he's pissed off about it and makes the mistake of not showing the robot his badge the proper way and he even starts to mock it. Second lesson: don't make fun of the robots!

"You clumsy son of a bitch! Look what you did, I ought to turn you into scrap metal for this!"

Back to the main characters, after sex comes a cigarette. Only problem is the misses wants a special brand. Indead they already had high maintenance women in the eighties. But she makes sure he gets back as soon as possible.

Better look twice fella cause you're not gonna see them again. He encounters another robot which slices his throat making sure he doesn't get up again.

Leslie is getting impatient and really wants a smoke so she goes out to find him. Third lesson: Never leave the shops. What follows is she finds her boyfriend at the cigarette machine with his throat sliced open and off course has to scream. Out comes a robot and starts to chase her. Run damnit! That ain't running, no wonder that robot can catch up on her. When she's at the shop, where all her friends are at, instead of going inside she stays outside the shop and gets her head lasered. I told you to run.

This is when the robots get a taste for killing and now even start to enter the shops that they before didn't enter. Off course all the people in the shop we're watching Leslie's head explode so the nearist intruders the robots see are our horny friends and they start to attack them. The robots start to shoot at everything in sight and soon the bunch of teenagers find themself trapped inside a small room when the automatic doors close not to open until 6 am. They're trapped, the phone is dead and they don't see a way out. Until Alison has a brigth moment, the vent shaft! When the robots start craching in only the women have entered the ventilation shaft and all of a sudden the guys decide to take another way outta there.

As soon as the girls are in the shaft one of 'em already starts to freak out about her boyfriend and her wanting to go back and help him. The others there try to change her mind but eventually all follow her back into the mall. Stupid! Meanwhile the guys are arming themselves with some guns and stuff to tackle to robots. Soon will they find out what we already know. No use in shooting at them suckers.

Once the girls get back in the mall they also arm themselves with some improvised kind off molot cocktails. Alison sees some flares and decides it would be nice to stick one between her boobs. The guys get attacked by the robots and in the end think they have defeated one of the robots (we get to see its resurrection) and go off setting up another trap for one of 'em in an elevator.

Then it's the girls turn again to get attacked by the robots. They try to burn it but instead it decides to burn one of them. While she's burning the guys come running in and start shooting the bastard trick him into following them and going into the prepped elevator. Once inside all except Alison start to shoot at the gastanks they used for the trap. They all miss, again, and again and again until Alison takes a gun and shoots it.

"Dad's a Marine."

The elevator drops by the explosion and the robot is destroyed. Two more to go. Time for relaxation. Time for beer!

After some jibbering they decide it's time to do something again. Now lets attack the computer room where all the security is maintained.

"Computer, huh? Let's go trash the fucker."

One of the guys, Greg, is pissed off about his girl being dead and all so he's the one taking the lead and goes up the stairs. Fourth lesson: always keep an eye on your surroundings. A robot quickly grabs him from behind and throws him down a couple of floors.

More shooting, more running and what do you know they decide to enter a shop again. This time not one with glass but with a nice metal door. Locked! Let's shoot it and then all together open it. You can help but at least put some ("It's easier with both hands")effort in it dude! Alison gets shot while they are entering the shop. She wounded at her arm, but she's ok, her daddy is a marine you know! The robots have to cut theirself a way in cause they have (Yeah right, like if thats gonna work) sabotaged the entry giving themself some time to rest and cuddle up. One of the best scenes coming up so I won't spoil that part for ya. I'll just tease a bit with a nice screenshot and keep the chit chat short.

What follows is the climax of the movie consisting of the two remaining characters first escaping the robots, then decide to split up and search around and finally kicking some robots ass!!

Chopping Mall is not to be taken too seriously as a Sci-Fi/Horror flick. It does contain some sweet scenes, like the head exploding, electrocution ... , but above all its a great comedy truly in the spirit of the eighties. Make sure you have seen this one at least once!

Final lesson: Robots always stay polite. "Thank you... have a nice day."

Final Rating: :shit: